Rose Gardens
by Nelizzy
Summary: Ichigo has cried many times to him, often frustrated tears over Kashino being a bit too pushy in the kitchen during practices, but this time is different. This time, she's silent, and he only knows she's crying when he moves to wipe the tears away. Hanabusa x Ichigo!
1. Provoking

A pair that I don't see that often, so I thought I'd try my hand at it. A bit dark, I apologize. Enjoy!

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><p>Hanabusa Satsuki was many things, but Ichigo's lover was not one of them. Still, he had to admit, having her in his arms felt so <em>right <em>and by god if he didn't envy Kashino every day for stealing her away from them.

As much as he yearned to enjoy the moment and to relax into their embrace, there was no time for that. Ichigo was _crying_. Not just small tears of frustration, as she often did when Kashino was a bit too pushy at practice that day, but rather, it was silent sobbing.

It was scary, to hold such a cheerful girl as her body shook from the withheld noises of pain.

"Ichigo-chan. C'mon, Ichigo, look at me."

He almost wished he hadn't asked her to, as her wide eyes stared at him in desperate search for understanding. One hand slid away from her back to gently brush away the track of tears, his other continuing to rub circles into her shirt.

"Kashino's an idiot," he declared, eyes soft with pity.

The small laugh was worth it, though the joy was short-lived as her memories seemed to consume her once more. There was little he could do for the overwhelmed beauty as she curled right back into a ball, determined to cry her heart out.

They stayed like that for a long time, her tight in his embrace, undisturbed. Once Ichigo had started to come up from her dump, he dared to peel away a bit and catch his Sweets Spirit's eye.

"Café-kun, why don't you fetch some coffee for this princess?"

When the small fairy flew away to do as he asked, Ichigo started to speak. It was incoherent to him, who couldn't pick up her soft mutterings.

"Ichigo-chan, you're going to have to speak up a bit."

The muttering continued. Hands firmly pressed to her shoulders, he gently pushed her face away from his chest so he could look her in the eyes.

"I'm here to listen to you, princess." He smiled at her. "Remember? Forever and always."

She smiled back, tentative. "Right, forever and always."

The small twinkle in her eyes seemed to return, and the green-haired boy could feel relief sink into his bones. That was, of course, until her mousy voice finally picked up enough for him to hear what she had been saying all along.

"He hit me."

Suddenly, any feelings of positivity that had been blossoming disappeared. His bones felt cold.

"He did what?" he asked, too shocked to be angry.

She looked down. "He hadn't slept enough, and, well, he was probably stressed, so it was my fault for provoking him! I—!"

"What did he _do_?" he asked again as realization started to settle in.

The shame on her face made him want to pick her up and hide her away from everything, to protect her from evil and make her feel better. She looked so _upset_. He wanted to throw something. His princess was upset and he was causing it.

But before he could take back his question, she answered him. "He hit me."

"Kashino-kun did?"

He felt the urge to crush that blond between his hands rise inside of him. At the distressed look Ichigo shot him, he managed to quell the desire.

"It was my fault," she explained. "I – he was practicing a new recipe and I _ruined _it after he stayed up all night to perfect it, and, he was just so mad."

"Ichigo-chan, you don't have to explain if you don't want to." He didn't want to see her cry like that.

She didn't stop now, too deep into her rambling to stop. "And then he was _yelling_ and I thought it was just a cake, so I yelled right back because you can make those things again! And then he hit me."

"Ichigo, I," he couldn't find the words. The words were there in his heart to comfort her, but his lips refused to part enough to say them.

"I shouldn't have provoked him." She looked down-right awful.

He started seeing it – the slight red ring around her eye, the swelling… How had he not noticed it earlier? Had he really been so distracted at the thought of Ichigo coming to him again?

"Don't say that." How could he have been so blind?

She jumped at his voice.

"Don't you _ever_ say that, Ichigo-chan." He focused hard on controlling himself as he gathered every bit of her into his arms and tucked her right back into him. "It's never your fault. _Never_. Don't ever say that; don't ever believe that, because it's _not your fault_."

She wasn't crying, but she was silent. It worried him.

"Do you understand, Ichigo-chan?"

She peeled away from him and smiled, gentle and comforting. It made him feel better about the situation, until he realized just what was happening.

As always, Ichigo was drawing the pain into herself. She was _always_everybody else's saviour, keeping them from falling too far into the darkness. She was innocent and sweet, and all she ever wanted was to make everybody else smile, but right now, she needed somebody for herself.

She needed somebody to make her smile.

"Ichigo-chan, want to come with me to the rose garden?"

It took a while, but she nodded and let herself be brought along. They walked together through the walls, her hand carefully entangled with his. There were few left in the halls, it being a later afternoon of the weekend. Most were in the dining hall or already retired to their rooms. The few stragglers that were still up and about knew better than to look after receiving a harsh glare from him.

Café found them as they strolled, carefully balancing the cup of coffee and keeping it warm with his Sweets Magic. As soon as they were in the comforting environment of the flowers, Ichigo took the ceramic cup from him and had a sip.

"Good as always, Café-kun," she said.

Her false cheeriness made him frown. Once he had thanked her, Café flew off to wherever he wished, most likely to search for Ichigo's partner and inform Vanilla that it would be okay.

They wandered around, stopping when Ichigo wanted to stop and simply letting the scent of all the roses wash over them.

"Was it just the face?"

She shook her head.

"Will you tell me?"

She paused, looking for words before looking away and taking another sip.

He smiled softly at her and decided to accept her response.

"He pinned me down."

His footsteps stilled.

"And he was… _aggressive_."

He tried to calm himself, trying to rid his face of the ugly sneer that was emerging from his thoughts.

"It was when, when I screamed that he suddenly got off and ran."

It _hurt_ to not go find Kashino and get an explanation, but he had to refrain himself. He spun, stalked towards her and knelt down in front of her.

With care, he gently pried one of her hands away from the coffee. He held it between his own, trying to ease her nerves away. Rage bubbled beneath the surface, but it was important that he stayed calm until she felt better. _He wouldn't leave her until she stopped shaking_, he promised himself.

"Hanabusa-kun?" he looked up, into her wide, brown eyes. "It's okay. I'm okay."

Obviously not, he thought to himself. Still, he smiled back at her and removed his hands, rising to his feet so he could gently pat her on the head.

"You're very strong aren't you, Ichigo-chan?"

She did not respond.

It was getting dark by the time he thought she was calm enough to be on her own. They had begun to speak of lighter topics, like about the recipes she'd been practicing from her grandmother's notebook, or of him with his new rose-cake experiments.

They were outside the girl's dormitory, her coffee finished and their fingers gently linked together still.

"Goodnight, Ichigo-chan."

She looked at him, a strange look in her eyes, before she leaned in a pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. "Thanks, Hanabusa-kun." Then she was gone, jogging into the building.

A flush filled his face as he waited for her to get safely inside before turning and heading to his own dorm. It was simply a friendly gesture, no? That's what she had always called it. The thought made him ache, but he stopped himself from overcomplicating the action.

He had more important things to focus on.

Like how he'd beat up Kashino the instant he laid eyes on that bastard.

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><p>Should I follow this up with what happens between him and Kashino?<p> 


	2. Reflections

Their door was unlocked when he finally got up to his dorm room, something that was not a common occurrence. Both boys were always careful to lock their doors prior to leaving for class, and more often than not, Kashino would be out far later than him.

With apprehension, he pushed the door open, eyes halting on the clothed back of his roommate. His temperamental, rude, and completely unforgivable roommate, who turned at the sound of his entrance and greeted him with dead eyes and a weak smile.

"Yo," Kashino uttered.

That's when he snapped, barreling forward and slamming his fist into Kashino's jaw. The other teetered backwards before collapsing into a pile on the ground, utter confusion clear on his face.

"Don't you 'yo' me, Kashino!" he growled, nursing his sore knuckles. "How dare you!"

His roommate seemed to come to some sort of understanding because next thing he knew, the blond was up in his face, just as angry as him. The two boys butted heads, snarling and sneering, chests heaving with bottled up frustrations.

"You come into my room, you hit me, and then yell at me? Who do you think you are?"

A short, bitter laugh. "Apparently, the guy who cares more about Ichigo than you _ever_ will."

"When did she ever come into this? Huh?"

"I knew you were an ass, but you crossed the line," he said.

Satsuki shoved the other, forcing him against the desk so that the only way out was to get past him. All the anger that he'd felt while caring for Ichigo during the day was coming back to him right at that moment. The pain he'd seen in her eyes – the fear and the regret and the guilt… everything that should never belong in her face had been right there, and the person behind it all was right in front of him.

"You hurt her," he shoved, "you hurt her and then you left her there to cry," he grabbed Kashino's shirt in his hand and rattled the boy, "and then I had to _find her sobbing_ while you _sat here brooding like _you're _the one with problems_!"

BAM!

All the breath he had in his lungs left him with one big gasp, forced out by the knee Kashino slammed into his stomach. Satsuki found purchase on the other's shoulders, nails digging in as he threw all his weight down. The two of them fell to the ground, hands grabbing at anything and everything that would hurt the other until finally, one ended on top of the other, pinning him down with all his weight.

"Go fuck yourself," Kashino snarled, eyes dark.

Satsuki looked up from his position on the ground, his face positively ugly. "Is _that_ what you said when you were pinning Ichigo down?"

That got a reaction – Kashino flinched back as if burned, clambering to his feet and storming out of the room, door slamming with an echoing boom as if to highlight his departure.

On the ground, Satsuki tried to catch his breath, his fingers reaching up to gingerly rub the sore bump on his head. When he finally felt good enough to get up, his head responded with an intense throb and nausea, forcing the green-haired boy to reach for a table edge. Everything wobbled for another few seconds before settling.

He pulled out a chair and crumpled into it, groaning at the pain that seemed to accompany every movement he made.

"Satsuki?"

A weak moan was all he could manage.

The owner of the voice shuffled forward until he was right by Satsuki's side, who turned to stare at the figure with wariness.

"What happened?"

He couldn't respond – he wasn't quite sure what had really just happened.

"Where'd Kashino go?"

His teeth clenched together, still angry at his roommate, but he didn't answer.

There was a sigh, and then an arm came around his shoulders and Satsuki was lifted to his feet. The duo took a few steps before coming to the foot of his bed, where he was clumsily deposited. It took some effort, but not long later, he was as comfortable as he could get with all the soreness in his body.

"I'll bring you to the nurse tomorrow, but I have to go find Kashino now. Go to sleep," his friend commanded, already making his way to the exit.

"Andou?"

The door stopped mid-swing, waiting for what would be said.

"Sorry," he said.

A small snort filled the silence, "good night."

"Night."

And the door clicked shut, leaving him in darkness and silence. He blinked once, or maybe twice, and then he was asleep. The door didn't open again that night.

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><p>I'd like to thank everybody for all their support! Updates will be slow and irregular, but I'll do my best. (:<p> 


	3. Crossing Lines

The group was falling apart, crumbling at their very foundations. It was evident in the way they all avoided each other, whether it was in the kitchen or outside. Even their Sweets Spirits were dragged into the silent war, casting looks of doubt and pain at one another when they thought the group was busy.

Kashino looked like he was barely alive. The usual hard-headed passion he had for his work seemed to be missing, as if the fire inside him was doused. His movements were slow and choppy, and more than once had he burned the chocolate. Heavy bags under his eyes hinted at a lack of sleep, which Satsuki could confirm. Kashino always disappeared into the night after curfew.

Ichigo clung desperately to her cheerful mask, but she hesitated with her every action. She'd taken to wearing long sleeves and flinched away from them constantly. Often, it looked like she would speak up and say something, only to completely stop. Their creative desserts were slowly dwindling.

Andou had taken up the role of mediator, thought the tension was obviously wearing him out. He wondered if the kind-hearted boy knew what happened, but was afraid to ask. Despite, or perhaps because of, Andou being the rational one of the group, Satsuki didn't want his take on the matter. He didn't want to hear that _he_ had been the one wrong.

Team Ichigo was falling apart, and all of them were pretending to ignore it.

Deep inside, it tore him apart to contribute to the stiff awkwardness the group had adopted. Yet, it seemed impossible to swallow down his pride and apologize to Kashino for their brawl. Inwardly, he wondered if it would even make a difference to say sorry.

Kashino hardly deserved the apology, considering what he had done to warrant the violence.

Just reminiscing on Ichigo's breakdown had him tensing up, his hand slipping and ruining the careful decoration of the cake they'd just made. Wincing, Satsuki made quick work to salvage the ruined piece, his shoulders drooping. His tired sigh was echoed by the rest of the group as they set the cake aside for others to admire. It was hardly their best work, and the disapproving glance their teacher sent their way was a reminder of her expectations. As their classmates, however, ooh'd and ahh'd, the group gazed at one another.

"I'll take clean up duty," he proposed. It _was _his fault the cake was less than beautiful.

To his surprise, Ichigo was quick to join, "Me too!" Her perky response had her reeling back as she stepped behind him to hide.

Kashino looked ready to fight the idea, but dropped it and turned around to leave. With a few worried glances between them, Andou followed after the blonde boy to keep him company.

"So," he begun awkwardly, clearing the still silence with a lame cough. "I'll wash, you dry?" he offered, already taking his place at the sink. There were many questions he wanted to ask Ichigo about, things he wanted to deeply discuss, but other classmates lingered as well. If there was anything Satsuki owed her, it was some privacy.

Nodding, Ichigo shuffled to his side, towel in hand. "About last week," she began, her voice trailing off. When he looked to her for her to continue, she averted her gaze.

So he took it upon himself to keep the conversation going by blurting out the one thought he'd had on his mind all week.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry!"

Wait, what? Recoiling, the duo stared at each other in disbelief.

Satsuki could _hardly _imagine why Ichigo would feel the need to apologize to him, and instantly, he started going through his previous actions. His brow furrowed deep into thought. Before he could go much further with his inner investigation, the subject of his thoughts explained.

"You and Kashino," she struggled with her words. "You two fought because of – because of me?" Her statement came out as an uncertain statement, as if she were afraid to say it.

He blinked. "Wait, what?" At her steadily reddening cheeks, he realized he'd said it aloud.

"That _was_ why, right?" As she spoke, she kept her eyes down on the towel. "I ruined your friendship by being stupid and selfish," her voice dropped to a meagre whisper that he strained to hear, "like I always do."

Where on earth had she come to that conclusion? "It's not your fault," he argued, turning to pin her with his stern stare. "What Kashino _did_," his face darkened. "What he did to you was wrong. Whether to you, to any other girl, or even me."

She looked up to him, with those pitiful eyes, wide and searching. "But I deserved it," she said, so certain, so convinced that those words were the only truth.

"_NO!_" Ichigo flinched away from him, and he was quick to withdraw into himself as well. The other students in the room, no longer hiding their curiosity, stared openly at the flustered duo. "No," he said in a softer tone, face sombre, "you really didn't deserve that. Any of it."

Concerned for her roommate, Rumi came over to investigate. Laying a gentle hand on Ichigo's shaking shoulder, she spoke, "Ichigo, wanna head back to the room?" Her eyes darted towards him, pinning him with a deadly glare. "I'm sure _Hanabusa_ can handle a little clean up." He never knew that a girl could look so decidedly furious, especially at him.

However, Ichigo shook her head. "I'm fine!" she chirped, subtly moving away from Rumi's touch. The unshed tears in her eyes said otherwise, but neither of them dared mention it.

"Alright," she said hesitantly, looking between the two of them. "I'll see you later." She left, shooting several worried looks over her shoulder, all of which Ichigo pointedly ignored.

"The weather's nice," she mused, finishing the rest of the clean-up duty with a swipe of the table. "Can you," she hesitated, conflicted. "Can you take me to the lake?"

He smiled weakly. "Sure," he said. "Anything for Ichigo-chan," he spoke with a charming smile. Despite the joking nature of his voice, he was certain that the statement was true. There wasn't anything in the world he wouldn't do for the girl, especially after finding out about her… less than stellar relationship with Kashino. Holding out his hand, he diverted his gaze to the forest.

"Thanks." She took his hand after a few moments of staring, and they started to walk.

The academy really was a beautiful place. So many flowers and trees to look at, and the refreshing smell of sweets and nature blended into a delightful harmony. Such a peaceful environment did wonders for his nerves.

Momentarily, he'd forgotten the reason for his walk. "We've all changed so much."

He looked back to her. "What do you mean by that?" She wasn't wrong, though. The air was always heavy when the group was together. Even alone, the two were slightly tense, aware of everything around them.

"We used to be such good friends, all of us," she whispered. "I just – I wanted that to last forever." Her voice cracked, and she came to a stop at the edges of the forest. Avoiding his curious gaze, she focused on the shimmering lake. "But now it's all," her body shook, "it's all gone."

"You still have me," he gently reminded her, lightly squeezing at the petite hand he held.

A startled cry and her stumbling away from his was not the response he expected. Reeling back as if burned, they stared at each other, at an impasse.

His lip trembled. "Ichigo?" God, he hoped she wasn't scared of him. Had he ruined everything by enacting revenge upon Kashino? No matter how much that idiot had deserved it, Ichigo still loved the boy. How stupid he must've been to forget that.

She loved _Kashino_, not _him_. The thought made his heart ache.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. His whole world was spinning. "I'm so, so _sorry_ Ichigo." Satsuki wanted to squeeze her close and reassure her that she was safe, but she was _scared_ of him and she had _good reason_ to be. He'd stooped to Kashino's level. His face fell into his hands as he collapsed to the ground, legs far too wobbly to keep him steady.

Like magic, a very soothing magic, her fingers on his head had his thoughts stilling. Though he moved to look up, Ichigo pushed down with her hand, a soft warning not to.

He listened to her silent instruction.

"You asked me… that night you asked where he'd hit me. I said, I said no. You couldn't see them because I was scared you'd find something other than… other than the bruises." Her voice shook even more than her trembling body. "But I – I've been thinking, and I know you mean me no harm, and I, and so I thought," she lifted her hand, "I thought I could trust you with this?"

Looking up, his gaze immediately landed on her exposed arms. Instead of the bruises he'd come to expect, the pale skin was marred with… scars. Some were obviously old wounds healed over, but many were still new; angry red lines slashed across her flesh.

He gaped. "You," he struggled to understand, "Did you do that to your… self?"

Apparently, that was not the right reaction to have. She pulled her sleeves down immediately and clammed up. "I – I, look, I should go–," and then she turned and ran.

"ICHIGO!" But she was gone, and his voice was nothing more than an echo. "Ichigo," he whispered, face tight with worry and confusion and, most importantly, fear. "_Why?_"

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><p>So, admittedly, it's been a really long while since I've updated, and I'm sorry about that. I just wasn't sure where I wanted to take this fanfic, but I have some ideas.<p> 


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